Moments You Try Not To Cry
by cherrygurl1225
Summary: A collection of specific moments when Britta's vulnerability is exposed and how her relationship with Jeff changes over the course of several years.


**Community: Moments You Try Not To Cry **

_I. Takes place after Interpretive Dance_

Flowers.

Jeff Winger had just given Britta Perry flowers after her dance recital. The one where she would have been utterly humiliated if Troy Barnes hadn't come in and saved her ass. For that, she was eternally grateful.

But the flowers…

She was taken aback by Jeff's thoughtful gesture. Though she knew he was interested in her, she'd always dismissed him as a player. He just tried to manipulate the system to make sure things went his way.

Now she stood there practically speechless, the weight of the bouquet in her arms suddenly feeling heavy as she watched him walk away.

Oh, right. He had to go be with Professor Hot Stuff. They were an item now.

She looked down at the bouquet, bringing it closer as the sweet aroma overwhelmed her senses.

The emotions she felt in the moment were overpowering and a single tear escaped her eye, smearing the expensive non-animal tested makeup that covered her skin.

And she just stood there, silently wishing she could have said something more to Jeff.

But it was too late now.

Flowers.

They were perfect.

* * *

_II. Takes place during and after Pascal's Triangle Revisited_

"Jeff Winger, do not get back with Slater. I love you."

Now it was Jeff's turn to be taken aback.

"You love me?" he asked, clearly surprised and confused.

"Do you love me?" she countered.

Unable to choose and overwhelmed, Jeff had left the Tranny Dance, leaving both Professor Slater and Britta behind. It was too much.

This clearly upset Britta, though she didn't want anyone to know it. So she left and went into the ladies room, locking herself in a bathroom stall.

Had she really meant what she said?

Did she really love him? Or was it just an attempt to counter Slater's charms?

Now she didn't know what to do. She took a few deep breaths as she tried to collect herself and regain her composure.

"Britta, are you alright?" It was Shirley, her voice laced with concern.

It took her a moment to find her voice and speak. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm fine, Shirley," Britta said, reassuring her friend, but still not opening the bathroom stall's door. As she heard Shirley leave, she pressed the palms of her hands against the door of the stall as if trying to find comfort in something tangible. But it did not yield any comfort.

She did not fight the tears that streamed down her face this time.

Non-animal tested makeup be damned.

* * *

_III. Takes place about two months after the Greendale Community College Commencement Ceremony_

_No. No, I can't be…_

Frantically, she began counting again. How long had it been?

_Shit._

She grabbed her cell phone, her fingers shakily dialing the numbers.

"Shirley, I need to talk to you," Britta's voice was urgent, pleading. "I-… I need your help."

She wasn't very good at asking others to help her. She liked to do things her way. She liked to be independent. Yes, various members of the study group had helped her before in other situations, but her own independence was of great importance to her.

"What's wrong, Britta?"

"I… I think I might be… pregnant."

Oh, my God. Did she really just say that?

"Holy macaroni with pepperjack!"

Shirley's response did not surprise her.

"I'm not sure how to respond to that," Britta admitted. "But I did just take a pregnancy test and it came out positive."

"Did you tell Jeff?"

"No! I mean, we haven't spoken since the commencement ceremony. I don't know what I would say to him."

"The truth. God looks favorably upon people who don't tell lies."

"But the truth sucks," Britta replied.

"I know, sweetie, I know," Shirley said. "But sooner or later, you're gonna have to tell him."

After a few more reassuring words of advice and wisdom from Shirley, Britta snapped her cell phone shut.

She sat there for a long moment in contemplation. A part of her wanted to yell, another part of her wanted to cry while yet another part of her wanted to curse out those damn store-bought pregnancy tests.

Taking a deep breath, she sighed.

She had another phone call to make.

* * *

_IV. 5 years after Commencement – Wedding Day_

After the phone call with Shirley five years earlier, Britta finally admitted to Jeff that she was pregnant.

They both knew it wouldn't be easy and there was a lot for both of them to work through, but they would get through it together.

They both tried not to discuss the day they thought Britta may have conceived. It was the week before their graduation. Finals Week.

The stress was getting to both of them as well as the rest of the study group. But the bickering between Jeff and Britta had begun to spread like wildfire once more. Even after Jeff had admitted to kissing Annie on the night of the Tranny Dance a few years earlier, their bickering did not cease. Jeff had also admitted it was a one time thing. A mistake. Curiosity. Nothing more. Jeff and Britta went right back to bickering once Britta had enough time to digest the fact that Jeff and Annie had kissed.

Suddenly, Finals Week of their final year at Greendale was upon them. Suddenly, it was just the two of them alone one night in the study room, arguing over an essay question for Britta's Feminist Theory final exam. And then, without warning, his lips were on hers. Yet, they had somehow made it to the study room couch before their night of passionate lovemaking escalated. This time, the study table would _not _be tainted.

Yeah, they both tried not to think about that, even when they had an awkward reunion a few months after commencement. Jeff went with Britta to her doctor's appointments and easily slipped his hand into hers during the first ultrasound, as if to show a small gesture of support.

Britta vehemently refused to get an abortion and they both decided that keeping their child was the best option. They moved in together to a bigger apartment and began preparing for the baby's arrival. However, with a baby on the way, they both decided to hold off on marriage. At least for a little while.

But a little while turned into five years. Now, their daughter, Katie, was five years old. She was bubbly and bright with blonde curls just like Britta's.

Jeff proposed to Britta and their wedding day arrived quickly afterward.

All members of the former Spanish study group were in attendance. Jeff had even made sure that the catered food at the reception was kosher, so there was no chance that Annie could inevitably digest any kind of pork product. Troy, Abed and Pierce were all Jeff's best men. (He couldn't choose just one of them.) Annie was Britta's bridesmaid while Shirley was Britta's maid of honor and Katie was the flower girl.

Britta looked beautiful in her pristine white wedding gown.

Jeff and Britta shared their first dance as a married couple on the dance floor of the wedding reception hall. But this time, when Britta cried tears of happiness, Jeff was there to gently wipe them away. He kissed her lips softly with tender affection.

"Oh, that's nice!" Shirley beamed.

Annie tried to hold back her tears of joy for the couple while playing with locks of Katie's hair as the little girl squirmed in her lap. "That's your Mommy and Daddy dancing out there!"

"Whisper nasty things in her ear!" Pierce shouted. Everyone but Jeff and Britta gave Pierce looks of disapproval.

"Dude, that is not cool," Troy said.

Later, when Britta was dancing with Katie and Annie on the dance floor, Abed came over and stood beside Jeff, carefully observing the three dancing girls.

"Jeff and Britta had gone through their ups and downs at Greendale. They'd seen the best and the worst of each other. But now, they finally put aside their differences and wed in holy matrimony, destined to live happily ever-…"

"Abed, what did I say about imitating the narrator from _Arrested Development_?"

"Sorry, Jeff."

"It's okay, Abed."

_Fin._

_Dedication: For my friend Katie._

**Author's Note: **I originally intended for this fic to be a bit shorter, but what I really wanted to show was the various stages of Britta's vulnerability. Some of which I expanded upon from certain episodes of the series and some of which I made up. Britta is my favorite female character on _Community. _I absolutely adore her! And Jeff and Britta are my favorite pairing on _Community. _Katie, Jeff and Britta's daughter, is the same character I'm using in my current work-in-progress fic "A Different Kind of Reunion" and I didn't want to change character names.

Hope everyone enjoyed this and it wasn't too confusing. I LOVE reviews, so please leave me one if you can!


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